The Santa Lechuga Expectorator

All the News We Spit to Print

Editor Suffers From Monkey Spores

The Expectorator has learned that editor Joe Livernois has been hospitalized and is in chronic condition after suffering from a wretched case of “monkey spores.”

However, the jackasses at Lechuga Community Memorial Health Care Center and Shooting Gallery refuse to acknowledge that Livernois is a patient, citing HIPPA as if HIPPA is the Apostles Creed of health law.

“Screw HIPPA,” Livernois said. “I’m here and I don’t give a rip who knows.”

Mayor Rube Furrow, still stinging from having his vice presidential  dreams dashed when Livernois exposed Furrow’s link to his manservant’s suspicious disappearance, said that, as far as he cares, “Livernois could rot In the place.”

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One thought on “Editor Suffers From Monkey Spores

  1. HIPPA keeps my medical information totally secret from me, my doctors of choice, loved ones, and anyone who cares enough to ask without special delivery of notarized triple witnessed original autographed releases and a papal dispensation. Otherwise, it’s all floating down the Ganges, for every agency, insurance co., potential employer, no doubt The Press, and ripe for exploitation by the tabloids.
    Glad you’re better Joe.

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